im sufficiently annoyed with the choices ive made and with the people ive made them for. With that, im leaving for Texas tomorrow and will probably not be back on tumblr until Saturday. I think i have a que setup though.
She wont believe me when i say shes so beautiful,
She doesnt believe me.
I cant convince her otherwise and i know its silly to try,
Because her perception is her own.
But if you could just see what I see when I look at you.
What i feel when i see you smile and undress.
Then you would understand why I say the things i do.
But its fine baby, i dont mind.
Ill be your water wings to keep you from drowning,
in your little river called self hate.
till you reach the shores of Higher Self-Esteem
Success is spitting game for 6 straight minutes without a stutter or murmur and still going 37/9 on CoD
Lots of things might happen. That’s the thing about writers. They’re unpredictable. They might bring you eggs in bed for breakfast, or they might all but ignore you for days. They might bring you eggs in bed at three in the morning. Or they might wake you up for sex at three in the morning. Or make love at four in the afternoon. They might not sleep at all. Or they might sleep right through the alarm and forget to get you up for work. Or call you home from work to kill a spider. Or refuse to speak to you after finding out you’ve never seen To Kill A Mockingbird. Or spend the last of the rent money on five kinds of soap. Or sell your textbooks for cash halfway through the semester. Or leave you love notes in your pockets. Or wash you pants with Post-It notes in the pockets so your laundry comes out covered in bits of wet paper. They might cry if the Post-It notes are unread all over your pants. It’s an unpredictable life.
But what happens if a writer falls in love with you?
This is a little more predictable. You will find your hemp necklace with the glass mushroom pendant around the neck of someone at a bus stop in a short story. Your favorite shoes will mysteriously disappear, and show up in a poem. The watch you always wear, the watch you own but never wear, the fact that you’ve never worn a watch: they suddenly belong to characters you’ve never known. And yet they’re you. They’re not you; they’re someone else entirely, but they toss their hair like you. They use the same colloquialisms as you. They scratch their nose when they lie like you. Sometimes they will be narrators; sometimes protagonists, sometimes villains. Sometimes they will be nobodies, an unimportant, static prop. This might amuse you at first. Or confuse you. You might be bewildered when books turn into mirrors. You might try to see yourself how your beloved writer sees you when you read a poem about someone who has your middle name or prose about someone who has never seen To Kill A Mockingbird. These poems and novels and short stories, they will scatter into the wind. You will wonder if you’re wandering through the pages of some story you’ve never even read. There’s no way to know. And no way to erase it. Even if you leave, a part of you will always be left behind.
If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die.
I hate hearing people say they hate guys and gals like Donald Glover because he so often talks about “not feeling black enough” and they get offended or whatever when in reality, or at least the reality for people like him and myself the people like you were the reasons we never felt black enough.
Yall were the dickheads in high school who made it so hard to like what we did or dress how we wanted or liked because it wasnt “right” enough or we “acted too white” We werent disassociated with our race because we didnt think black culture wasnt good enough for us. Assholes like you made us feel like we werent good enough for black culture.
Dont be pressed because we dont know how to “feel black enough” Be pressed because assholes like you are the reason we thought there was a way to be in the first place.
I just got told “Girls cum easier than guys”
Like what. Just because I made it easier doesnt make it fact, girl. Getcha google search on.
Fact check yourself ya heard
K time to play the drinking game.
! shot every time Kobe spews misinformation or Riv makes a shitty joke.
! shot for everytime Hotshot is caught out
! shot for everytime aphro feeds.
We are not making it past the next 20 minutes
People give me such a weird side eye when i tell them the only thing im really terrified of is sharks and say things like “haha whatre the odds of you ever seeing a shark”
I LIVE ON AN ISLAND NIGGA. MY ODDS IS GOOD AS FUCK OK.
This dude like excommunicated me or some shit because i guess he feels a certain type of way about a girl not wanting him? I mean i understand what thats like when you like someone that doesnt like you and im sorry you had to feel that shit but damn son. How you gonna fuck up business propositions and goals over a girl that likes me more than you? Isnt that counter productive to the initial point of her discomfort with the age difference? Cause clearly the maturity level for this situation hit a low.
Case and point; i didnt steal your girl because
A) She wasnt your girl
B) Even if she was you cant steal a person
So you should
C) Deal with it like a man and not block/delete me without saying anything on some ole bitch shit.
But dont worry, ill take care of her. And we both sincerely wish you the best.
5am 6am and im on that weird part of Spotify where i dont understand any of the lyrics but i like the beat so im listening anyway. I dont even know if i like this music. Is this what im into..? Anyway i unlinked my twitterr from my Tumblr. Might make a separate twitter and start fresh. This is probably just the 6am talking though. Im going to wake up late as shit. I should go get cereal. My blog is trash and has no focus and ill probably never get a lot of followers because theres no central focus. My blog is my life apparently. Im going to go get some cereal and listen to music i may or may not like in headphones that are way too good. Thanks. Good/morning night.
I cant find my phone and we aint even start drinking yet. Thats the first sign of me drinking i swear. If we are ever at a function and you want to know if im sippin on anythin ask me where my phone is.